Emotions Have Variables

I was raised to be a good person. I was taught all the lessons relating to ‘good’(respect, love, kindness), and was warned to stay away from the ‘bad’(anger, envy, frustration). I feel that it is assumed that when we acknowledge the bad, we will easily be lured into being bad but good and bad are extremities, what of all the tidbits in between? Do they not also have importance? 

Looking back on my life, I can see why people worried that I could turn bad. There’s no doubt that I was surrounded by instances to tempt the bad. I got angry when my plans were disrupted, frustration was triggered after a list of disappointments beyond my control, and I envied watching the things that I wasn’t able to do. Due to how I was taught, I avoided looking at these emotions but, eventually curiosity led me to try understanding these emotions. As much as I didn’t enjoy negative emotions, I wanted to learn from them to better know myself. 

I found that the greatest way to move on from the lure of bad was to ask a lot of questions. Why did I feel that way? What was I wanting at that moment? Where was that moment leading me? Asking these questions while exploring different viewpoints, I could view the situation as if it belonged to someone else.  

After a small session of digging, I could stop and decide if what I felt at the start is what I truly want or need now. Viewing the situation from an outside perspective helps me to accept that the issue isn’t as important as I first viewed it to be, and that it’s okay to let it go. Acknowledging my feelings helps me to recognize where I am, work with what I have and decide where I want to head. Growing up ignoring my feelings, I hadn’t realized how much I unconsciously carried and how much more painful it is to face something that has been compacted inside of us. Now, I know that the little tidbits I felt could be building pieces for the person I’m becoming and the people I share with. The tiny variables in our lives are valuable pieces that assist the whole.