“There are many ways to get assisted; for your growth, try to resist it.”- Astrid Hardjana-Large
There can be many ways to find assistance that will make us feel like we have reached our goal but there is only one person with whom we can truly work with to fully reach our wanted accomplishment and that is our own person.
As I experienced the journey to recover from a stroke, I have been offered options such as a walker, grab bars, a motorized wheelchair and a cane to help me be more independent but I have decided to refuse them because I still wish to become an independent person.
“But you are just limiting yourself!” my friend said to me.
I do not believe that choosing to not have assistance is limiting, I believe that choosing to work harder now will provide me more independence later. Working with a help now will only get me to create the habit of being dependent on something else when my body is not yet able. How am I able to say that this is true? I purchased myself a cane so that I could get around small rooms without having to always call someone to my side and as I found some comfort using the cane; I felt how my body would shift all its weight onto the right side of my body as soon as my mind thought that safety was there. When all my weight shifted to the right, I knew that meant that my left side was not being used and my right side was feeling more pain because it could not handle that much weight.
With this experience, I was able to become aware of my need for safety and start becoming more aware of my actual abilities. Assisting support can still be a help to a person, we just need to use it wisely and remain focused on our wanted goal. Too much assistance from another only guides us to avoid using our own abilities due to fear and uncertainty. It can appear wondrous to feel like we have the prize within our hand but if it is not truly there then we are just deceiving our mind with an illusion that we have created. Regardless of the limitations and hardships I have to face now, I believe that working towards full independence will be a greater accomplishment because I will have the knowledge that it is truly my person that is doing the job.
After this realization, I made it my goal to only use the cane to prevent being an inconvenience for my family and to never allow myself to use the cane outside of the home. When people see me walking outside of my home, I wish to know that I am truly walking independently and I will know that I am ready for my next adventure.
Astrid's Words 