I admire your character and determination,
I'm tempted to do my best to be like you,
Yet, I'm not meant to become what I'm not.
She is my mother, my advocate and nemesis.
I look to your assurance when I'm in uncertainty,
My memory jogs to remember all you've taught me.
We are so familiar yet so different.
You are my daughter, my advocate and nemesis.
Reflecting as a mother and daughter, it’s interesting to discover what I’ve experienced and what I may not have realized in the moment. There are two sides to every story and it’s a blessing to have experienced both.
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7 comments on My Advocate and Nemesis
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Have you ever sensed the energy of your greatness and felt that you may be too much for other people? Did sensing yourself cause you to fear sharing yourself? If ever you feel a moment when you feel too much of your own energy, try not to shrink yourself into less. Find a way to understand what you’re feeling and connect with the experience.
When you feel like you’re too much, don’t compare yourself to others. Instead, take a moment to correlate with the universe. The universe is a large mass of energy that touches all yet doesn’t interfere with the diverse sources. It shares all around, gives where it’s needed and takes when something has exceeded abundance. When an area has been in drought, the universe works to gather until the clouds are heavy and ready to give. And when an area requires a revival, it sends a catastrophe to clean the slate. Though the workings of the universe may get misinterpreted, it works hard to spread its energy fairly.
When you take a moment to correlate with the universe, ask yourself if your intentions are fair and consider how spreading your energy is your way of sharing. We can’t control how others perceive us, but we do know why we choose to share. Hiding our energy is a disruption to ourselves and it deprives others of the energy that’s meant to flow between us. The next time you feel an abundance of energy flowing through you, don’t let your fear shrink or hide who you are. Ask yourself why you’re feeling an abundance of energy, review your purpose and let yourself flow with it when you know that you’re not intentionally out to offend. Embrace who you are, decide how you want to share your energy and flow with the blessings life offers.
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Know that fear is a figment of your imagination.
Don't allow fears created by others to become your own,
Choosing to face fear will help you to embrace who you are,
Accept fear as a companion to walk beside you on your journey.
Follow your heart, for what you believe will become your reality.
Reactions occur to the events of your life,
Uncertainty and emotions will create stories for reasoning.
Keep aware of what thoughts you feed your mind,
You have the choice to create what you want,
Know that fear is a figment of your imagination.
People will empathize and share their own reasoning,
Their words and emotions will be an influence on you,
Try your best to trust yourself and listen from within.
The truth will reveal itself, keep searching,
Don’t allow fears created by others to become your own.
There will be times when you feel that you know
And it's OK to let yourself explore to trust fear.
Fear doesn't have to manifest into a constant shadow in your life,
Know that darkness will lead to light.
Choosing to face fear will help you to embrace who you are.
When you find no other compatible to walk with you, look within.
Instead of giving into, become one with your emotions,
Consider them as the messengers to your intuition.
Your thoughts are only enemies if you give in to them,
Accept fear as a companion to walk beside you on your journey.
Always keep a desired goal at hand,
Make time to feed your dream when all else fails.
Trust that every decision you make is in part and intended for you,
It's up to you to create what you want.
Follow your heart, for what you believe will become your reality.
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“Set Your Boundaries” It sounds like a simple, desirable goal but how do you set it when your potential and capabilities keep bouncing around you without consistency? Where do you place the limit? And what should you do when life changes that horizon for you? How does one follow something that changes sporadically? It would be easy to give up and say I don’t care but what would I learn doing that? Exploring changing boundaries is once again an opportunity to meet who I am.
When I first learned about boundaries ten years ago, I was at a loss with the goal. In my mind, I knew where I wanted to place them and what I wanted to work towards but as I was set to move with it, my body would intervene and to care for myself in those moments, I had to think fast without time to consult my long-term goals. Once a choice was made, I had to flow with it and I lost sight of the boundary I set. It was survival in the moment more than anything else and I could only hope to succeed. I have felt like a failure in boundary setting and as I try it again, I realize that the failure had everything to do with survival. I had hoped that this would be easier without epilepsy in my life but the more I recover, the more I relate to that self.
How does one set a boundary for their body when they don’t know when or if their body will be tired? One moment I’m full of energy, I take two steps and suddenly my left side is numb, and my mind is preparing for injury. I sit down and the numbness turns to warn me that I’m drained of energy. I’m still there and looking normal but inwardly, I feel half dead and feel that getting up is risking injury. If I use the energy to keep going, I risk injury later. If I don’t continue now, I risk losing whatever I was working on. Which boundary should I listen to at this moment? It’s like a post-seizure moment all over again! I can only concentrate on meaning well and hope to set things back on track when the chaos calms down.
They say that you must get to know yourself, and focusing on an outward goal will blur the sight of what is already within and waiting to be. In these moments when chaos is calming down, I realize that boundaries don’t have to be a fence that keeps me in a safe zone promising outward success. My boundaries have been stakes of values that I’ve planted and have remained, even when all other boundary pieces have blown away. I’m not meant to be an outward goals person; it has always been inward goals for me, and they have always succeeded for me. My physical body will continue to confuse me, but I am grounded by my hope, love and perseverance. Life continues changing and I will continue growing while grounded by the values I cherish.
Do you ever struggle with the boundaries you have set? Do you find it hard to let them go to flow with life? Are you proud of the way you have survived your life?