Out of Breath and in a Fight
As I was reading a post Who are we when Out of Breath by the Pen and Sword Journal, which described the inner opponent of fear that shows up in intense battles and how it helps to build our psychological strength in how we choose to face our battle. I was reminded of my seizure experiences, the times when I’d be out of breath and in a fight mode. I wasn’t a martial artist who could choose which battle to enter or avoid but I do recall a similar chaotic flurry when an aura warned me. My heartbeat would pick up, I had to let fear kick in and choose how I wanted to face my seizure. I knew I couldn’t control what happened to me, but I could control how I came out of it. Breath had a way of giving me the little control I could have. Every battle was a reminder that I didn’t have the control I liked to think I had, a review of my fear, and a test for my willpower. My seizures taught me that it’s okay to admit fear, not have control and to surrender to the situation. I learned that you can always look back and work with the broken pieces after the battle has passed.
Breath, overall, was something I worked with in different ways to direct the attacks on me and balance my thoughts and feelings in chaotic moments. It’s something we do unconsciously but can consciously use for our advantage. I’m humbled to be reminded of how my resilience was built and why I find it exciting to face fear. My brain may never have been 100% but I’m grateful that it continuously works on its neuroplasticity.
Photo By: Simon Hurry https://unsplash.com/@bullterriere
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