As much as what is isn’t exactly as I pictured or ‘wanted’, I can’t honestly say that I didn’t get what I asked for. I aimed for self-acceptance and hoped for a better understanding of my body. I envisioned being ready to explore physically.
This year’s journey brought me self-acceptance which led to the admittance that physical prowess isn’t for me and hasn’t been for the last 25 years. Closer examination of myself helped me to admit my truth, drop the fantasy and find new understanding of what triggers my nerves.
So, looking back, the result is different yet still on line with the root of my desire. I accept myself now, am learning the ways of my body as it progresses and am open to following old dreams in a more realistic manner. I’m very grateful for my progress and the livelihood that was restored in me!
Tag: Recovery
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4 comments on Different, Yet Still on Line
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A layer of armor is shed with every progress, What once kept me safe is now holding me back. Security dwindles yet promises. The shield of disability slowly disappears, I am once again the child that began this journey. Possibilities awaken yet wrestles in the mind. The fears from nine years ago return, A nudge to journey forward without skipping steps. New beginnings dwell before me, yet I must venture into and away from me to find myself. There's more to a person than what's obviously detected, They are artwork that is beyond physical. Every being holds more than what's presented, A blossom unique on its own. This is a reflection as I revisit my greatest fear and accept progress in my recovery. Nine years ago, before my surgery and stroke, I was scared of losing my seizures. Now, even though I know I can't be 100%, the concept of being without my challenges scares me and makes me question how I'll grow. I feel like I've been stripped and sent back in time to find myself without a full slate. Fear and uncertainty arise, yet I know I'm embarking on an adventure to find me. Who am I without the hustle and bustle of challenges?
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How many concussions have I had, even if I never had immediate symptoms? How did I know what and how to revive at that time? How did my body hold and heal all the injuries? How can I believe that life isn't a blessing? ~ When you can finally know, it's best to know for the sake of understanding ~ Every fall like a tree was a brain injury, My dedication to appreciate and discover life was my perseverance. My willingness to listen to what nobody else could hear led me to do what I must to keep going, I've always believed I'm the luckiest person to have such intricate, diverse experiences. This reflection was inspired after reading Concussion Is Brain Injury: Treating the Neurons and Me By: Shireen Jeejeebhoy. Reading about what brain injury could do reawakened my long-held questions and wonder, and renewed my belief that I am one of the luckiest people alive to live such a unique life full of experiences. I will never have all the answers, but I'll always be grateful that Life believes in me!
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Being well doesn't mean our dreams come true as planned, Healing isn't about making life the way we want it. Challenges are offered as an opportunity to grow, Healing is learning to accept life as it is. Healing is learning to accept life as it is, Embrace the unexpected to uncover something new. Healing isn't about making life the way we want it, Recognize the blessings that surround you. Recognize the blessings that surround you, Welcome shadow and light to understand. Embrace the unexpected to uncover something new, Be open with patience in every occurrence. Be open with patience in every occurrence, Healing isn't about making life the way we want it. Welcome shadow and light to understand, Healing is learning to accept life as it is. Healing comes in many forms. Though my life used to swarm around healing my life into a normality I desired, my journey taught me that it wasn't what I thought and offered me an abundance of opportunities to enjoy as is. There will never be an exact prescription for healing to fit every being, but we're all offered opportunities for growth in our journey.