It isn’t easy to be misunderstood
So different than all the rest
It’s hard to know nothing helps
Even when trying my best
This is the way I was born
The way I was meant to be
Is there someone else the same?
Someone who can also see?
I do not wish to change me
I just wish for understanding
I do not wish to feel so alone
I wish to be with others, to fit in
Where was I meant to be in this world?
The role that I was meant to play?
How can I find understanding?
Can’t someone just come and say?
I wish for my questions to be answered
To find the role meant to be played
I wish to fit in with others
To not always require an aid
This was a poem inspired to me as I reflected upon my experiences with my epileptic seizures. I often feel misunderstood and different than the rest. I find it hard to accept that I don’t have anything that can help me with my difference, even when I continuously put my best efforts in. I always have to remember that this is the way that I was born, which means it is the way I was meant to be. I wish to meet another person who is exactly the same and who can fully understand my thoughts.
Even though I am searching for understanding, change is not what I wish for. I wish to be with others, to fit in and not feel so alone. I am searching to understand where I belong in this world and what role I was meant to play. I wish someone could just come to me and tell me.
I am a person who wishes to find the answers to her questions, to discover the role I was meant to play. I wish to find my place with others and I do not want to always require an aid from others. To reach my goals it is up to my person to accept her given life and work to find her place. Answers cannot be given to me by another, only help in my journey can be provided. As much as I wish to find answers from another I have to accept that it is up to my own person to find my answers.
As frustrating as it can be
I have to accept that it is a part of me
Wherever I may want to go
It is something that will show
I have often tried to deny
I have often needed to rely
Help is a word I use
Help is something I cannot refuse
To me, many cautions apply
This is not the end of my life
It is something to live with, a strife
I will still be able to succeed
As long as I choose to proceed
Epilepsy, not the center of my life
These are words that were written when I looked upon my life with the aim to accept having Epilepsy. I looked upon how I felt about it, how it had been affecting my life and, also, how I wanted to move forward. One of the things that helped me to continuously move forward is the belief that it is up to me to decide where my life goes. My life can sometimes get delayed and I can have moments when I feel extra challenged but, as long as I know what I want and stick to my goals, I will succeed and live a full life. Life is quite a fruitful journey. =)
In times of need
You’ve come to exceed
All my expectations
When I feel lonely
You prove that I only
Have to look your way
When anger consumes me
You show me how to be
Forgiving in my ways
When love is there
We’re showing we care
That is how life should be
This was a poem written at a time when my husband and I were getting to know each other. As I looked back upon our time I was able to see how he impressed me and surprised me with the way he handled my seizures. He helped me to discover that in times when I feel alone, I just had to look to him for a friend. In times of confusion, when my seizures overwhelmed me, I lashed out at others with anger without even realizing it. Watching how he handled those times with love taught me to be more forgiving. Seeing all the love that my partner gave me inspired me to live my life with love and care. Together we decided that love and care was what we wanted for our lives together.
My thoughts lie with you
Even when we’re apart
Thoughts of getting back to you
Are filling up my heart
We will never truly be apart
For our hearts are still together
We may not be side by side
But together we are forever
I look forward to going home to you
I love to know that you are waiting
I’m looking forward to hugs and kisses
Our reunion I’m anticipating
This was a poem that I wrote when my partner and I were separated due to schooling. My thoughts were on him even though I hadn’t seen him in days. As vacations approached the idea of seeing him was filling my mind and helping me to find more happiness. As I started to think of him more I realized that we were never truly apart because our hearts were together. We were not physically side by side but we were still together.
I looked forward to going home to him and I loved knowing that he waited for me. I looked forward to having more hugs and kisses with him. A reunion where we could be physically side by side was a true gift for my heart.
To offer belief in me
Shows that they care
However the strength of their belief
Is quite a scare
Acceptance of their care
Is a responsibility
For a person who can and cannot
A person with changing abilities
Constantly day to day
Expecting others to know
Can never be the way
Acceptance has to come from the self
Though wished for from friends and family
It’s important to maintain my given beliefs
I need to love and care for the person that is me
This poem was a small reflection on how I was feeling about people’s belief in me. There are times when my Epileptic Seizures overwhelm me and I wonder why it is not an obvious bother to other people. As others continue to show faith in me I get scared that I will not be able to live up to their beliefs. The idea of accepting their faith feels like an acceptance to work harder alone at a time when I am feeling like I need help.
I have to remind myself that changes for me will happen constantly and as obvious as it may feel to me, others do not see it or know about it as easily. Acceptance of my person must always come first from my person. As much as my seizures make me feel like I will need care from another person, it is my responsibility to know of my needs and care for my person first. Without being told of my needs I cannot expect another person to know. Changing abilities are challenges given to a person to help them grow and discover their actual person. Belief from others is proof of the love that the world does have for us, even if it makes us feel alone in our journey.