Appreciating that I’m Alive

They all happened so fast,

Every day in many episodes.

The experience had to be swallowed;

There was no time to stop and feel,

I could only concentrate on being happy to be alive


There were times when happiness didn’t quite last,

When I could only guess what were on the roads.

If I wasn’t grateful, I felt hollowed.

Hardship was part of me, I could not appeal;

I focused on causes in which to strive.


Memories still haunt, though I know it’s in the past.

My reality continues to slowly unfold,

Reconnection has helped me become mellowed

Hardships and love, I can now choose to feel;

They will always be a part of my experience and drive.


As I move forth, I will continue to wallow,

Slowly wade to decipher what’s real

And continue appreciating that I’m alive.


When I reflect on my experience with Epilepsy, I can’t relate what it was like because the episodes happened so often and fast. There was no time to understand what I went through; I could only choose to be happy to be alive.

Even when I was happy, I couldn’t get to know the feeling. I couldn’t guess what would happen next and if I didn’t choose to be grateful, I felt empty. I had to accept the life I was given, and I focused on contributing to help me strive.

Now that my life begins anew, the memories haunt me though it’s just in my mind. My reality slowly unfolds, and each reconnection helps me become mellow. Now, I have time to experience the hardship and love, as I know they’ll always be a part of who I am.

As I progress, I continue to wallow through the experience, gaining knowledge on what is my reality. I will always be grateful for my existence and try my best to be open to understand who I am.

Published by Astrid's Words

Astrid Hardjana-Large is an inspirational author who enjoys Life and adversity. She is motivated to share her inspiration from Life experiences and encourages readers to persevere on the journey of Life.

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