As I get to know people around me, while testing my new life without seizures, I’m confused and question my ability to understand others. How does one change cause reason to give up on values and one’s belief in who they are? They say it’s because I don’t know what they’re going through and that is true, to an extent.
Yesterday, it was described to me that people go through big changes and have time in between. Some people with epilepsy have them every few days or weeks, I had them four times daily for over ten years. I was intensely trained to handle big changes because every seizure disrupted my life plan. I had to be ready to not get my way, no matter how hard I tried.
When people come to me in fear, I want to help them be courageous. When they show signs of giving up, it’s my natural instinct to be ready to brave a storm, even if it’s not my own, and encourage them to do the same. I don’t remember the steps taken to brave each change because they happened too fast. I only recall building a mindset to accept, keep going and search for growth.
My experience will never be the same as others and I won’t pretend to understand what others go through. I do hold a lot of similar experiences and my immunity to fear was built from my daily practice. It’s easy to feel justified when we have something substantial to blame, but I honestly didn’t feel I had that. Arguing about my seizures became an argument against life and I was happier accepting blessings from hardship.
Life continues to surprise and challenge me, though it feels lighter than it was. I’m not certain how to feel or how to explain it, I only know that I’m grateful to be alive with diverse experiences and will continue encouraging others to go after their person, no matter the hardships.