Performance Show

Amidst the mass of ways I must,

I carry a convulsion set to combust.

Trying to stand up tall,

Prepared to plummet to the ground

And wake to stares from all around.


My dreams sustain hope,

While reality drops me down a slope.

I search for assistance,

Hoping to find new light

While plunging into darkness with fright.


A puppet I am, made of something stranger

Pulled by strings of hope and anger,

Making me dance a dim-witted life.

The audience stares, trying to see,

But can’t feel the reality of being me.


The madness of trying to be the me I know,

Knowing, for now, it’s a performance show.

Time to break the strings that conduct how to be.

Contrasting waves intended to collide and shore,

It’s time to stand and settle life’s score.


Today, at dVerse, Laura encouraged us to write about our experience (real or imagined) with mental health. My life with neurological problems gave me my moments. Balance is hard to keep when you believe the positive and are fed the negative, the contrast too overwhelming to bear. I’ve come to believe moments of mental madness are passages to realization.

Published by Astrid's Words

Astrid Hardjana-Large is an inspirational author who enjoys Life and adversity. She is motivated to share her inspiration from Life experiences and encourages readers to persevere on the journey of Life.

10 thoughts on “Performance Show

  1. Good to read of your courage and defiance – of resisting labels and yet always carrying “a convulsion set to combust.”

    p.s. my work as therapist was with neurology especially seizures – I wonder if you have read other poets who live with seizures -Seamus Heaney’s brother did and here is a link to Complex partial poetry

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: