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Release dependence on a comfort zone,
Adventure forth and taste uncertainty.
Learn and develop from all the unknown,
Create your own unique reality.
All will become your actuality,
Accept all newfound treasures happily.
Unite the past and present peacefully,
An adult respecting their inner child,
No longer straying habitually.
Become your dreams when they’re daring and wild!
A dizain poem, a poetry form introduced to us at dVerse. A dizain has one stanza consisting of 10 lines, with 10 syllables per line, and the rhyme scheme is ababbccdcd.
That last line is a wonderful culmination! The form is almost perfect. I like the subtlety of your ‘-ty’ and ‘-ly’ rhymes.
Your fourth line needs one more syllable. While even the greatest poets sometimes vary the most formal of their verses, this needs to be done, I think, for a particular effect of sound echoing sense, e.g. creating a sudden abruptness or emphasis where that reinforces the message. It is not usually advisable to vary a strict form for no good reason. It is also not great to insert a necessary syllable simply because it’s supposed to be there (like amateur poets who insert ‘so’ before their adjectives). Can you find an extra syllable for that line, which will seem right and necessary once you include it?
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Thank you for pointing out the fourth line to me.
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Reblogged this on Mystical Strings.
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Thank you so much.
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I really love this! Beautiful, inspiring, and so true! Thanks! ❤
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life-affirming and a recipe for personal integration to wholeness.
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Glad to hear. Thanks.
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You are welcome 🙂
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Very optimistic — like a Hallmark card
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nice share
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Love the adventure and courage of this Astrid — wonderful!
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Thanks!
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Good advice to becoming one’s dreams.
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Thanks.!
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