Don’t place yourself in duress, recognize your desires and respectively express.
Brittany was always a girl who had perfection envisioned in her mind and she didn’t let anything disrupt her dreams. She knew what she wanted and never allowed herself to conform to others.
As high school graduation approached, Brittany was excited to shop for her prom dress and become Prom Queen. Brittany already knew exactly how she wanted her dress to look. She wanted a slim fitting dress in bright red. She could already imagine how to accentuate the dress with jewelry and what hairstyle to have with it.
Jill, Brittany’s best friend, approached her one afternoon. “Hey, Brittany, have you shopped for your dress yet? Would you be interested in shopping with me tomorrow?” Jill asked.
Brittany grinned excitedly and replied, “Great idea! Let’s go shopping tomorrow.”
The next afternoon Brittany and Jill headed to the mall to look for their prom dresses. When they entered the store, they both wandered separately to search. As Brittany looked through a variety of red dresses, Jill approached her with a blue dress with a flared skirt and asked, “Brittany, what do you think of this dress?”
Brittany gave it a quick glance and expressed her distaste. “No way! Blue wouldn’t be good for prom, it must be a red dress! Besides, the flared skirt would make one look like a little girl.”
Jill took a shocked step backwards. “Oh, I see. I liked this one because blue is my favorite color. And why would a flared skirt make one look like a little girl? I love flared skirts.”
“It should be red if you want to get noticed and a form-fitting dress will make you look older. We’re supposed to leave our childhood behind after we graduate. It’s time to be adults.”
Jill eyed Brittany doubtfully and replied, “Why would I have to give up my favorite color and style just to be an adult? I want to be myself.”
“Then how would we receive the attention needed to be prom queen if we were ourselves?” Brittany asked back.
Jill heaved a sigh. “Oh, so you’re working hard to pretty yourself up to be prom queen? Well, I’m not really interested. I just wanted to find something I like to look good for myself. Why didn’t you just share your goals with me? I would’ve been able to help you if I knew what you wanted. What are you looking for?”
Brittany considered Jill’s words and realized that Jill was correct. If she had just shared her thoughts with Jill, she would’ve known that they had different ideas and they could’ve helped each other to find their dream dress. Brittany couldn’t help but wonder why Jill wasn’t interested in looking good for others. Was she truly happy just being herself? Even if it wasn’t perfection?
Finally, Brittany shares her thoughts with Jill. After describing her dream dress, Jill helps her to find it and Brittany feels confident to ask her some questions, “Jill, why wouldn’t it matter to you to be prom queen? Was I wrong to think I could win?”
Jill smiles softly and replies, “Oh, Brittany, not everyone finds being popular to be important, but it’s perfectly fine to strive to be your best. Everybody is different and I’m just more comfortable being my very best. Whenever we have differing goals, just feel free to share your thoughts so we can continue to understand each other. We’re meant to be different and we both can achieve our very best.”
Brittany envelops Jill into a hug, “Thank you for telling me, Jill. That meant a lot, I really appreciate your acceptance of me. Thank you.”
Everybody strives for different goals and no specific goal is meant for everyone, but when we respectively express our intentions, we can find assistance and learn something more. Don’t be successful by entering duress, recognize your desires and express yourself to make a progress.