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“Looking like a fool can still be an inspiration.” – Astrid Hardjana-Large

Sometimes we don’t like what we have to do, we focus on what we don’t like and choose to worry about what others are going to think of us. We should never worry that others are going to think that we are as bad as we think. Other people don’t have the time to spend as much time on us as we do.

At one time in my life, I had auras that would tell me that I was having a seizure and when I figured out the cause,  I knew that when an aura came on it was time for me to hum my own music and drum on myself to prevent myself from going unconscious. I felt that I looked extremely silly and people would be laughing at me but, one day, somebody asked me what I was doing. “Oh, this is when I know I am having an aura.” I replied. “I find this is the way for me to distract my brain so that I do not have a full seizure.”

“Really, Astrid?  That sounds great! You have found a way to stop some of your seizures, that’s good for you.  Seizures never get in your way, you always find a way around them.”

Having this response helped me to see that even though I looked like a fool, I was still doing myself good and proving that epilepsy was not allowed to get in my way.

Now, in my life, I am working to recover from brain surgery and need to be in a wheelchair for assistance. At times when I am just seated in my chair, I know I have to keep moving to keep my body working. I felt like a fool sitting in my chair and swinging my legs with one leg or exercising my arm and fingers until the day I had my check up with my neurosurgeon. He walked in the door, saw me exercising my body and said, “It’s great to see that you have the proper mindset for recovery, Astrid.”

At first, I did not know what to think of his words. How would he know I was remaining positive and determined for a full recovery? You mean exercising my body while sitting in a wheelchair lets people know how much I keep on trying?

Looking like a fool, for all the proper reasons, can still be an inspiration to the world. As long as we know why we are doing it, then there is no reason to fear looking like a fool.