When Epilepsy was a part of my daily life, I worked hard to not allow Epilepsy to define my person. I had 3 to 4 seizures daily that made me consider ways to prevent injuries but I never stopped my life because I did not want Epilepsy to control me.
Now my life has taken an odd turn. I went in for brain surgery and no longer have seizures but I had a stroke that took away the functions of the left side of my body. Some would say that Epilepsy is no longer a part of my life but, knowing that this stroke was a part of my journey to get rid of epilepsy, I am re-experiencing personal differences due to epilepsy. As I work to recover from my stroke, I am searching for the strengths I built from having epilepsy.
Epilepsy was a part of my life for 23 years. It is still a blessing that I do not have to worry about any unexpected falls but I honestly do not know myself anymore. As much as I worked to not have epilepsy define me, I accepted it as a part of me and now a part of me is missing.
All the experiences I went through to accept that having epilepsy was just a personal difference to accept is coming back as I have to accept that I have to recover in a wheelchair. As much as seizures are gone right now, this is still something due to having epilepsy and it is making me feel defined by epilepsy. As much as I do not want to be defined by epilepsy, it was a huge part of my life and the person I became. Having epilepsy was not truly a negative experience for my person. Epilepsy was a part of my journey that helped me to build my positivity and now I have to get to know myself without epilepsy, remember my lessons from epilepsy and rediscover my person.